DISCLAIMER: The recipe that follows is purely for entertainment purposes. In no way does the author of said recipe expect or intend that the reader should replicate said recipe. The author of said recipe is absolved from any culpability as a result of personal injuries that might occur in the event that a person is harmed by attempting to make said recipe or that a person consumes the product of the recipe.
ADDENDUM: In the event that a person would attempt to follow the prescribed methods of said recipe, it is advised by the author to take the following precautions:
* wear protective gloves: latex or silicone gloves
* wear a gas mask
* wear a full-body hazmat suit
“Here be dragons”
This is one of the hottest sauces that I have ever made. It’s not for the meek. It’s not for the novice fire-eating braggarts.
I have to admit that I am addicted to habaneros. The flavor of a fresh, ripe habanero is irresistibly tantalizing and it pulls me into its depth, like Charybdis pulling Odysseus and his crew into its deadly whirlpool.
This sauce transcends the realms of delicious flavor and extreme heat. Anyone that dallies in ultra-hot sauces should understand what I mean. The ability to distinguish flavor in very hot sauces is important. A hot sauce that is meant to cause pain is useless, unless a devilish prank is the intention.
36 fresh habanero chilis, steamed and charred over a hot grill
6 cloves roasted garlic
1 cup distilled white vinegar
Lay the habanero chilis on a sheet of aluminum foil. Fold the corners of the aluminum foil over the habaneros, keeping them close together.
Add a few more layers of aluminum foil wrap and seal the edges securely.
Roast the packet of chilis on a hot charcoal grill for 40 minutes, flipping the packet over every 10 minutes. Leave an open area in the center of the grill to avoid burning the chilis.
Carefully open the aluminum foil packet to expose the steamed chilis. Take a breath before opening the packet and hold your breath as you open the packet. You’ve been warned! Walk away from the opened packet and take a few deep breaths. Return to the chilis, slowly. Take shallow breaths through your nose and empty the chilis into a blender. If the foil packet has bits of dark residue, form the foil into a bowl shape and add a little water. Swish the water around to loosen the gooey residue. You might want to hold your breath while you swish the water around. The vapors can send you into a coughing fit, if you’re not careful. Pour the residue into the blender.
Add the roasted garlic to the blender. Add the vinegar to the blender. Pulse the mixture a few times and then blend the mixture until it becomes a smooth liquid. If the sauce is too thick, add a little water and continue to blend. Do not lean over and smell the blended liquid. You know the vapors will knock you down. Trust that the sauce is plenty hot. All you should do at this point is add liquid to the mixture until you achieve the desired consistency.
Carefully pour the sauce into small jars. I filled 3 recycled hot sauce jars and poured the rest of the sauce in a canning jar. I placed my smallest funnel into a jar and slowly filled each jar. I strongly recommend wearing protective gloves because one hand will hold the jar as the other hand pours the liquid into the funnel. If any sauce leaks during the process, it will get on the hand that is holding the bottle and, if that hand is not protected you will definitely regret it. If the funnel clogs during the process, you may want to insert a toothpick to clear the clog. Again, that hand should be protected!
This recipe made about 36 ounces of sauce.